Just Before Show Time
Don’t Rely on Them to Tell You
Many years ago, I was teaching at
‘Willis College of Business and Technology’ in Ottawa. I
was sitting on the front corner of the teacher’s desk,
explaining a point to the class, and I could feel
something amiss about the energy level in the room. The
class, comprised mostly of women, seemed to be in a
strange, an almost silly, mood.
I concluded that it was due to my
magnetic personality, causing the class full of women to
be so capricious in my presence. Then, one of the ladies
at the back of the room held up her hand. I acknowledged
her, and she said, “We have a problem.”
“What’s the problem?” I asked.
“Your fly is down!” She replied,
as she giggled. I looked down, and saw that she was
telling the truth. Not only was my zipper down, but,
because of the manner in which I was sitting on the edge
of the desk, there was also a gaping hole to make it
easier for the class to peer into my pants. I looked
Before I entered the class room
that day, I had chatted with at least a half dozen other
people, any one of whom could have drawn my attention to
the open crater in my midsection. However, it was my own
responsibility to check those things before I stepped up
to teach, and I neglected to do so.
When I was in high school, we had
one geography teacher who always wiped the chalk off the
board with his hands. (Back then it was chalk boards,
not white boards.) He would then unconsciously wipe his
hands on the seat of his pants.
Every time he turned his back to
the class to write something on the board, there were
two giant hand prints on his butt. As far as I know, no
one ever mentioned it to him, because we all thought it
was too funny. Maybe he did it on purpose, who knows?
But the point is that none of us were going to tell him
how foolish he looked.
Before you speak, go into the
bathroom and examine yourself in the mirror. Make sure
your zipper’s up, your suit pockets are empty, your hair
is the way you want it, your tie is straight, your dress
or skirt isn’t clinging, and you’re happy with the way
you look. Most importantly, make sure there aren’t any
green or black things stuck in your teeth!
So, what’s the lesson? Don’t rely
on other people to tell you about a wardrobe
malfunction, check it out for yourself, before you